If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
