The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
