I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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