was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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