You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
