I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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