We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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