What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize