I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
