im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
