If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
