she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
