I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
