when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
