my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
