Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
