We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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