After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
