hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
