Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
