Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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