i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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