After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
