i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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