im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
