I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
