dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
