im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
