You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
