i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
