my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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