After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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