ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
