I'm going to jail i love you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there's paper in my vomit.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
is it fun? or sober?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
