i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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