Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
