I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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