Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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