So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
