I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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