Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
