Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
be right there i have to get my cape
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
