And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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