if i can run in heels then i can drive
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
