well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
