Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You can't just leave with hair like that
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
