Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
