You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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