So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
