he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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