Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
