How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
